A couple of months before turning 30 years old, it struck me that my life looked nothing like I assumed it would “at that age.” Mainly, I thought I’d be married already. But as 30 approached I had no marriage prospects; I wasn’t even in a serious relationship. O.k., I wasn’t in a relationship at all. I was working a part-time job, by choice, which gave me lots of time on my hands. So I used the time to write my thoughts and feelings about turning 30 and still being single.
What I ended up with was “Nobody Ever Told Me I Might Not Get Married,” a manuscript chronicling my personal experiences being a Christian single woman who desired to be married, but was encountering a different reality. A reality I wasn’t prepared for.
I didn’t feel confident that I could interest a publisher in my manuscript so I never tried. Then my life changed. I did meet “the one” and we married. I was 32, he, 35. The manuscript sat in a manila envelope under my desk. I became a college teacher, and every once in a while I would reference my “book” in conversations with female students.
At one point, an editor who visited the college convinced me to submit the manuscript to the publisher she worked for. I did. They rejected it. So it kept sitting, safe in its manila envelope which gathered dust.
Now’s the Time
Then out of the blue a few months ago, my god-sister, who is in her mid-30s and single, asked me “whatever happened to that book you wrote?” She wanted to read it. And a couple of months after that, one of my former students asked “whatever happened to that book you wrote?” She shared how she and her circle of girlfriends – all in their late 20s, career women, and still single – were feeling that their realities were a lot different than they expected.
Hmmmm. Sounded familiar. Could it be that my thoughts and feelings from the past were still relevant today? I thought that today’s women preferred being single later in life, focusing on careers, traveling, and pursuing personal goals. Apparently, not so much, as I found out by sharing parts of the manuscript with several groups of older single women.
So as I prepare to publish my manuscript as an e-book in the next few weeks, I look forward to sharing my personal experiences facing the reality that – for those who want it − marriage might not be every female’s destiny. And although it’s a little scary to talk about, let’s.