A couple of
months before turning 30 years old, it struck me that my life looked nothing
like I assumed it would “at that age.” Mainly, I thought I’d be married
already. But as 30 approached I had no marriage prospects; I wasn’t even in a
serious relationship. O.k., I wasn’t in a relationship at all. I was working a
part-time job, by choice, which gave me lots of time on my hands. So I used the
time to write my thoughts and feelings about turning 30 and still being single.
What I ended up with was “Nobody
Ever Told Me I Might Not Get Married,” a manuscript chronicling my personal
experiences being a Christian single woman who desired to be married, but was
encountering a different reality. A reality I wasn’t prepared for.
Life Keeps Moving
I didn’t feel confident that I could interest
a publisher in my manuscript so I never tried. Then my life changed. I did meet
“the one” and we married. I was 32, he, 35. The manuscript sat in a manila
envelope under my desk. I became a college teacher, and every once in a while I
would reference my “book” in conversations with female students.
At one point, an editor who visited
the college convinced me to submit the manuscript to the publisher she worked
for. I did. They rejected it. So it kept sitting, safe in its manila envelope
which gathered dust.
Now’s the Time
Then out of the blue a few months
ago, my god-sister, who is in her mid-30s and single, asked me “whatever
happened to that book you wrote?” She wanted to read it. And a couple of months
after that, one of my former students asked “whatever happened to that book you
wrote?” She shared how she and her circle of girlfriends – all in their late
20s, career women, and still single – were feeling that their realities were a lot
different than they expected.
Hmmmm. Sounded familiar. Could it be
that my thoughts and feelings from the past were still relevant today? I thought that today’s women preferred being
single later in life, focusing on careers, traveling, and pursuing personal
goals. Apparently, not so much, as I found out by sharing parts of the
manuscript with several groups of older single women.
So as I prepare to publish my manuscript as an e-book in the next few
weeks, I look forward to sharing my personal experiences facing the reality
that – for those who want it − marriage might not be every female’s destiny.
And although it’s a little scary to talk about, let’s.
